Trauma
by TWDGamerKenny'sBro
Summary: Captured by Lilly and her group, Clementine - despite being riddled with guilt - attempts to talk to and comfort a broken and distraught Louis, in the hopes of making him feel a little less alone. (Oneshot)


**A/N - This is mostly a retelling/reinterpretation of the scene in episode three where Clementine reunites with Louis, who was previously captured by the raiders. However, this explores a little deeper, plus I made a few changes. For example, Louis is more distraught in this version. I also took some liberties when it comes to explaining why she chose Violet over him, despite the fact that Clem and Louis kissed in the music room in this series of events. Even though I chose to save Louis in episode two, I wanted to give mute Louis some love too. I think there's a lot to be explored with him, and maybe I'll write another story about this version of Louis later down the line. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this oneshot.**

* * *

 **Trauma**

The dusty old bulb in the corridor outside their cells buzzed loudly, giving off a piercing orange light, and casting eerie shadows on the peeling, faded wallpaper - turning rusty metal bars into horrifying monsters. The fact that she reacted so harshly to the blinding light reminded Clementine of how foreign a concept electricity had become in this new world. One of humanity's greatest creations had been lost so easily, snuffed out like a dying candle. There was the promise of power, and so many more luxuries awaiting them at the Delta, Lilly had made sure to sell that part of the deal during their first encounter. But Clementine wanted nothing to do with their war. Especially not after seeing what they would do if you stepped out of line.

 _I'll do whatever it takes to stop Lilly from hurting anyone else._ She thought, her face hardened with determination, whilst adrenaline coursed through her veins.

Tightly gripping AJ's shiv, she quickly surveyed the tiny, cramped room. Her eyes drifted across the tally marks etched into the walls, and landed on the shafts of pale moonlight streaming through the port holes. She stared up at the windows, and managed to catch a glimpse of the twinkling stars, stretching out into the cosmos beyond that pane of glass. Freedom was so close, but just out of reach.

They would all be out of there soon.

The boat creaked and swayed as it bobbed on the water. They wouldn't be immobile forever, so she needed to act soon. Clementine was about to head over to the door and try her luck on the screws securing the worn panel, when she stopped, and looked at the other person that was occupying the cell.

Louis was hiding in the shadows, tucked into the far corner, hugging his knees against his chest, rocking back and forth. He was closed off to the world, completely and utterly alone, suffering in his own cruelly inflicted silence. A silence that had no end.

A muffled weeping was the only sound that emanated from him, almost as if he was terrified of making too much noise. Tears pricked her amber eyes as she gazed longingly at the traumatised boy. Her stomach flipped as Aasim's words echoed in her mind. _They cut out his tongue._ That towering wave of nausea was building, climbing up her throat. Any moment now, she was going to spew up the contents of her last meal onto the cold, metallic floor. She'd tried so desperately to ignore it, to focus on their escape plan, for his benefit, but... It was impossible.

She wondered if he was ready. Would he refuse to leave, scared of the consequences if they got caught, or would fear drive him out of this prison and into the unknown? She had only spoken to him once after waking up from a blunt hit to the head, but now... There was uncertainty in the air, she didn't know if she could find anymore words to say to him. She didn't even know if she had the strength to face him again.

Clementine sniffled and rubbed her eyes. Her mind was swimming in guilt, whilst a dull, mocking voice taunted her - hanging the girl's failures over her head.

 _This is all your fault. You could have_ _saved him. But instead you fucked it all up._

Her instincts were screaming at her to get back to the task at hand. Lives were depending on this. But her heart was singing to a different tune.

 _I just need to check_ _on him. It_ _won't take long._ She rationalised. _We can't leave unless I know he's going to be alright._ She then tucked AJ's shiv safely into her back pocket - fearful that the blade might startle him - and cautiously approached Louis.

Once she was within touching distance, Clementine knelt down in front of the boy, whose face was buried in his jeans, his body shaking uncontrollably. It was hard to believe that this was the same person who had once shone so brightly, like a beacon of hope, laughter, and joy. Their first kiss seemed so long ago now, like an eternity had passed. She hesitated for a moment, before speaking his name softly. "Louis?"

He sprang to life and almost banged his head on the wall during his retreat, as he tried to bundle himself further into the corner. He kicked his legs frantically, scampering away like a wounded puppy. A few unintelligible sounds escaped his lips as he continued to sob. His puffy, red eyes were wild as they darted across the room in search of a possible threat. He didn't even see her in his panic. The sheer amount of fear he expressed was alarming, it rocked Clementine to the core, and she felt her heart shatter into thousands of pieces.

"Louis, it's okay!" She cried out, placing a comforting hand on his knee.

He stopped writhing and met her gaze. And the look he held on his face... It was like he was seeing her for the first time. Blood still oozed from his mouth and dribbled down his chin. Clementine gently reached out and wiped away the trail of crimson, before touching his cheek. Louis relaxed into her hand as she traced star maps and constellations across his freckles with her thumb.

"You're okay." She reassured him, her voice cracking as she spoke, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm here."

She blinked rapidly, forcing herself not to cry, whilst the boy whimpered helplessly. With a lump in her throat, Clementine briefly studied him - her gaze sympathetic - trying in vain to read his thoughts. What was happening in his fractured mind? Did he not remember her presence? Was he delusional from the blood loss? Or had fear taken over, burying him in the dark, consuming pit of despair?

The fact that he couldn't communicate - couldn't tell her how he felt or what he had gone through was soul crushing. He was trapped inside his own head, with that experience clouding his memories, and he was unable to say a word about it.

Her hand trailed down his face, before allowing it to reside below his chin, where she checked for more injuries, like possible bruising. There were blood stains on his neck and exposed chest. _Fuck, there's so much of it. I'll have to help him clean up later._ "Does it hurt?" She asked concernedly, her vocals cords so fried that it felt like her ability to talk was going to be stripped away too.

Louis swallowed hard, a simple day-to-day action that physically pained him, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He parted his lips, as if to speak, only to give her a weak, toothy smile instead - his teeth stained with his own blood - and shook his head.

Clementine arched her brow, nose wrinkling as she frowned. "You're not a very good liar." She murmured. However, she did feel a twinge of happiness, knowing that he still cared about her wellbeing and didn't want her to worry, just like always.

His smile cracked and faltered, before disappearing entirely. He seemed upset by his inability to keep up the ruse in his current state. She imagined him replying with a witty remark like "I never said I was." Or maybe he would fake shock; "Me? A liar? Ridiculous!" Perhaps he'd turn on the charm and say "I wouldn't lie to you, Clem." There was a large range of possibilities, and many of them would have definitely gotten a chuckle out of Clementine.

God, she'd give anything to hear his voice again. Why him? How could they do this? It- it wasn't fair!

 _This is all your fault. This is all your fault. **This is all your fault.**_

She choked out a sob, and once the first hot tear broke free, more began to race down her cheeks. Louis stared wide eyed, shaken by her emotional outburst. "Dammit, I shouldn't- Fuck... I-" Clementine stuttered, desperately trying to claw back the remnants of her composure. The boy winced and immediately tried to speak, but the only words he could produce were a garbled mess. He tensed up and stopped a few seconds after, before putting his hand to his mouth, evidently distraught that he couldn't do anything to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry, Louis." She croaked. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let this happen, I shouldn't have let them take you, I should have come to get you sooner, I-" She paused, inhaling sharply through her grief-stricken cries. "Back at the school, I thought I could save you both. I knew I was capable enough. I helped Violet first - I couldn't just leave her, not after she risked taking a bullet for me. I had hoped that she'd help me save you. I still had time, I still had plenty of arrows, but- God, I was so scared, Louis - I couldn't breathe, I was shaking. And then... I dropped my arrow. When I snapped myself out of it, and reached for another, it was already too late. But I kept firing, I don't know why, it didn't do any good…

It's all my fault." She repeated, her breathing less erratic. "It was just a stupid mistake, but it's cost you so much. I was so reckless, I should have known better, but instead... I ruined everything, and I failed you." She bowed her head, the guilt was eating away at her so much that she couldn't bear to look at him anymore. "I don't expect you to forgive me. But I just want you to know that, no matter what, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you again. If Lilly tries to hurt you, then she'll have go through me."

Louis' terrified response forced Clementine to make eye contact. He was shaking his head violently, a fountain of blood pouring from his mouth due to his current and previous attempts at speech, but it was a futile effort. He let out a pitiful groan in defeat and slumped back against the wall. A hodgepodge of emotions flashed across his face; frustration, sorrow, and worst of all, hopelessness. His dark eyes drifted towards the floor - the possibility of him becoming a quivering mess seeming more and more likely. How many more tears could he shed before the river ran dry?

That's when something truly mortifying occurred to her… She had no idea what he had been trying to say. It was far easier to read him before with a simple yes and no question, but everything after her breakdown was lost in translation. She couldn't even tell which part he was addressing. _Am I not trying hard enough, is that it?_ She questioned. _Because if it isn't, and I can't understand him… Then I don't want him to feel anymore alone. I'm supposed to make him feel better, not worse!_

She retraced her own words, attempting to decipher meaning from his reply. Maybe he was petrified of losing her if she stood up to Lilly. Maybe he was worried she would meet a similar fate as him. Whatever his concerns were, it didn't matter. **Louis was worth the risk.**

Clementine felt a fire ignite inside of her. She quickly wiped her face on her sleeve, before sitting up and placing both hands on Louis' shoulders. "Louis, listen to me. We're going to get you out of here, okay? We'll get back home, and put all of this behind us. You'll be reunited with your piano, and you can play to your heart's content. I'll be right there beside you, and I'll sing along to whatever you play, even if I don't know the words - I'll make them up if I have to."

Something resembling a laugh escaped Louis' lips. "I know it's going to be so, so, _so_ hard, and I know it's hard right now - I can't imagine what you're going through, but we'll figure it out, one day at a time. Together. You'll see. I promise."

He tilted his head up, the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he treated Clementine to the best smile he could muster. That was enough to patch up her broken heart. She let out a strangled gasp and matched his smile, before neatening his beloved jacket as she pulled away. "I could really use a hug, and I bet you'd like another one. So why don't you come here, you big dork?" She suggested, adopting an upbeat tone and holding out her arms.

Louis froze in place and nervously glanced over at the door, perhaps fearful that a guard might see. He hesitated for a moment, before cautiously shuffling closer - out of the shadows and into the silver moonlight - and falling into the warm embrace. For the first time since they reunited, he wasn't shaking. Clementine gripped him tightly, running her fingers through his hair, swearing to herself that she'd never let him out of her sight again. She then kissed him softly on the forehead, and he allowed her lips to linger there for a while. Her amber eyes were misty as she whispered one last promise to him. "You don't have to be afraid. I've got you."


End file.
